When you want more out life…more happiness, more peace, and more stability, and even more money— many times the first step toward those goals is to prune the weeds in your life to make room for the flowers. When you purpose to remove negative people, places, and things from your life you’ll find more freedom and confidence in yourself, you’ll put more effort into and strengthen those relationships that do matter, and you’ll attract more like-minded positive people into your life. One of the best things for you to do to better your life is to cut a friendship that brings you down. THAT is an empowered woman who can let go and keep it moving!
Do you have any friends like these not so lovely ladies?
That “friend” you tolerate. Ummm why!? Why do you have so called friends that you tolerate? You have nothing in common and your future plans don’t align with hers. There has to come a time in your life when you understand who you are and what your purpose is. Not everyone is going to be a life-long friend. Some are only in your life for a specific reason or a season. When you take the friendship past its time that is not good for you or that friend. Why would you want expired things in your life? Would you eat expired food? Would you take expired medicine? Now if you answered yes to either of those then your issues may be deeper than just tolerating people who’ve expired in your life. Find the courage to separate yourself from relationships that are not serving a purpose. Those types of friendships are high school. As an adult woman who has desires and intention for success in her life, you have to make the sometime hard decision to let people go. Yes, her…the one that just came to your mind while you were reading this.
Fake Friend, I mean Fay always forgets to return calls for weeks and sometimes months, doesn’t show up for your special occasions and most times is just missing in action until she needs something. She makes plans to meet up with you but then she’s always showing up late or changing plans at the last minute because “something came up”. Let’s face it. In this situation, YOU are “Tammy Tolerate”. She is not a real friend to you and is simply tolerating you for whatever reason. Don’t give her the satisfaction. You’re fabulous yourself and you do not have to be friend needy. Find and spend time with those who do celebrate and appreciate you as a friend and who are interested in your life; not just tolerating you. YOU are better than that. Even if you were friends with this person for years, you may have just grown apart. And that’s okay. It happens in all type of relationships. It’s time to move on to someone who has friendship to give.
Hey, we all have our moments. That time when we’re caught off-guard or something happens that just gets us in a negative place TEMPORARILY. Hopefully those moments are far and few between. On the other hand there are some people who are ALWAYS negative. Something is wrong with everything and everybody. The perpetual pessimist will always have you using way too much energy to counteract all the negativity. How much energy are you using for every positive you share with her and she counters with a negative? How much energy are you using when for every negative she throws at you, you have to come up with a positive to talk yourself back up from the conversation with her? That is too draining. Evaluate whether this is a relationship you should be in. If it’s someone that you can’t get rid of too easily, like family, then set boundaries around your time and conversation with them. Just because they’re family does not give them the right to pour their negativity into your life.
Have you met someone who just seems to attracts drama? No matter where she is, she seems to encounter a problem. She’s always the one with hair in her food, she’s always having someone look at her funny, she’s always the one that someone was rude to, she’s always the one who got the wrong order of whatever, and she’s always the one that people are giving HER a hard time. She is a magnet for drama! Know this, when someone is always having an issue no matter what they’re doing , no matter where they go, no matter where they work…it’s not THE OTHER PEOPLE it’s THEM! So, unless you’re also a Drama Debbie, you should minimize your time with this type of person. She is the common denominator in every dramatic scenario and until she owns that and changes, drama will follow her AND YOU. Do you really have time for that? If your answer is no, then what are you going to do about it? Snip, Snip!
She’s the friend that you always have to help with something but she can help you with nothing. It’s always one sided. You’ve accomplished things, you’re educated or in school, you’re well read, you manage your money well, and you’re on a road to success; YET you are holding on to Helpless Halle. There’s nothing wrong with offering help and even being in the place of needing help EVERY NOW AND THEN. But what about if she is always the one needing the help but never has anything to offer to help you? These one-sided relationships are off balance, unhealthy and do not suit the woman who wants more out of life. Maybe you were in that helpless place at one time but you decided that you wanted something different, so you did something different and are now living something different. If this person was in your life then, and you don’t want to seem like you’re abandoning them now that you’re getting yourself together, here’s some advice that may help. The next time she comes to you to borrow money or for some other help, ask her what her plan is to change her situation so that she doesn’t have to keep depending on your help. It’s simple. If she doesn’t have a plan, don’t give any more help because it’s a never ending hole. If she does have a plan, then offer to be her accountability partner so you can help her stick to her plan and decide what, if any, help you will give FOR A PREDETERMINED amount of time.
The bottom line is this, never allow yourself to get hung up on friendships that are bringing you down or hindering the progress you’re trying to make in your life. Be okay with the fact that as you grow in your success that some people in your life can’t come along. They have their journey and you have yours. At some point those paths may no longer cross. Always remember that the separation does not have to be bitter, but it should always make you better.