The question is did you ever really want it? So many have built a life around others expectations and dreams while their own true desires are pushed aside. Now you’re in a place in life where those buried dreams are rising to the top! You’re unfulfilled and have finally realized that your own happiness can’t be found in pleasing others at the detriment of your own well-being. So what do you do?
1. Evaluate your external relationships. I say start here because this could be the easy fix. Sometimes just detaching from unhealthy alliances can take a heavy load off of your shoulder or heart. If a relationship is causing you distress, it’s time to reevaluate its value. This can be for a romantic relationship, friendship or business partnership. Evaluate each one. On a sheet of paper, list both the pros and the cons. If there are more pros than cons than stick with it and just tweak the relationship for a better fit. If there are more cons than pros, then why are you still in it? It’s time to move on already! Know that you’ll be better off in the long run. Just love them from a distance.
2. Evaluate your internal relationship with yourself. It’s kind of hard to separate or divorce yourself. Sometimes it’s the relationship we have within our very own beings that is causing us the most stress. What conversations are you having with yourself when nobody is around? Are you uplifting or are you tearing yourself down with your thoughts and words. There’s power in your tongue. It can bring life or death and you are its closest victim or its closest victor. You choose. Your words will either perpetuate a victim mindset or your words can cause you to be victorious. Have you heard of a curse jar? When someone is trying to stop using foul language, whenever they slip up they have to put money in the jar. Over the next 5 days, take inventory of what you say to yourself. Every time you speak negative, self-doubt, and limiting thoughts put $1 in the jar. Examples of words, thoughts and phrases that will cost you a $1 – “I can’t”, “I’m not good enough”, “it’s too hard”, “I’m broke”, “I’m sick”, “I’m sick and tired”, “You’re killing me”, “things will never change”, “they hate me”, etc. Remember your words have power and you will have what you say!
3. Ask and answer the hard questions. Am I being fully authentic to who I am? Am I happy? What do I desire that’s missing in my life. Get total clarity on what it is you want in your life. What’s missing? What’s lacking? What’s broken? You have to confront what you want to change. Burying your head in the sand will not get you the life you want. Ignoring the issues will not make them go away. Praying without taking action will not work. “Faith without works is dead being alone.” Confront the issues and deal with them head on. It may be uncomfortable but it’s necessary. If you want real change then it’s going to get uncomfortable! If you want comfort more than you want change, then just stay stuck right where you are and STOP COMPLAINING! Like my mom would say, “if you like it I love it”!
You have the power to change and create the life you want. If the life you’re living doesn’t resemble the one you want. Get to work. Implement these steps and watch as your world turns for the better.